I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sponge bath it is.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
