Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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