Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
