Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You need a sexual gate keeper
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
