mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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