i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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