My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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