I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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