saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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