I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize