I wish my penis had an off switch
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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