I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
