All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have aggressive nipples.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
