It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
