Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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