He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
