You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
