drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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