She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
