Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
