Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
