I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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