If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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