quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
