I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is Oprah even human
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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