If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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