My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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