I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
