I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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