I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
