i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
