when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
