Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
