he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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