So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
