I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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