I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
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