you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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