And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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