Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
