we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
