I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
