Already got asked if we're dating
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
