Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Everclear isn't food dammit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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