Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
