i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
