theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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