she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
