There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
