she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
