You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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