Kiss
Puke
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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