it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
