Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i was born a porn star she said
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
