You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
