What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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