Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
