This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
