Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
