i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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