Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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