I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize