I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
