why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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