put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
