I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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