I've blown a few things in my day
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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