drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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