Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
