ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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