K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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