dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
