He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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