i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
