kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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