my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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